It is Monday night and the day didn't seem to bad until of course I left 15 minutes late. Got to Rians daycare just in time and well to make me smile Carina preheated the oven for her unhealthy dinner of choice. Frozen pizzas! I cook them and slowly the night went downhill. Rian took 2 bites then cried till I put him on my lap (I wouldn't normally but my head was already fuming and I lost all patience) and then I proceeded to shovel 3 pieces of pizza (small but shoot...3 pieces) and a bowl of salad (to even things out) into my mouth in hopes of going into a food coma and waking up with a husband by my side and the kids all sweet and perfect. Ha. I know...not gonna happen!
Anyways, we got done eating dinner and I decided to call despite my inner voices telling me to do bath time first and then the night got even more fun. I put the kids in front of the camera, went to go fix something in the car and Rian started crying again. Ugh. I love my son...tons...but he couldn't get anymore attached to me unless the umbilical cord was still dangling off of him. It has gotten worse since I'm the only one here! Now most days I would love it but honestly on my no patience days it just makes me feel more incompetent every time he cries. So needless to say I decided not to fix my car and continue with our night. Came back in the house, calmed him down and then thought "hey I will put the laundry away". Ha. He cried the second he realized I wasn't in the room. What the heck! My normally independent son had lost it. He is off his rocker and his crybaby side is coming out. Some how I must put a stop to it! Hehe.
I caved. Came downstairs. Calmed him down again, hung up the call with RC sometime during all this...went to have all the kids do shower/bath time and voila...dog crap on my carpet. Now I can't make excuses and say we don't know which dog cause we already gave my dog away! So that leaves me angry with RC for leaving his dog that already drives me crazy with me. Sometime from when I got home today, bath time and the three million times she went outside inbetween there to use the restroom our lovely dog managed to crap on the carpet. Ha. Classic. This was really the topper after the night before of 2 middle of the night wake up calls. One from Charlie whining at 1245 (just 10 minutes after I fell asleep) and the second at 217 when Nikki decided to barf! Ugh.
Of course tonight I called RC laid into him about the two animals he left are his, how much I hate them etc and when he said what I did (but actually didn't) want to hear "i will figure out a place for the animals" I instantly felt bad. I do love our animals but I know we can't take them to where we are going to stay in CA and I guess I just feel like right now someone somewhere is laughing at me and saying 'so you think your supermom...don't kid yourself!'
Every day a million people ask me how I'm doing and I tell exactly 3 people the truth. I even find myself sugarcoating it to RC (who now is reading about my dishonesty most likely) to spare his feelings and make him believe we are good. Truth be known I well up with tears when I talk to him and have to say goodbye, I cringe when people say I'm doing great and I laugh internally when I think about how long we have to go. Gosh, what a sissy I am. There are military wives out there who do this their whole life and don't complain.
Okay. Now that I am done venting I am going to get back to the real world. Quit writing my email blog and tend to the kids. Suck it up Andrea! Take a break tonight. Binge eat and start again on the right foot tomorrow :)
Hugs,
Slightly Insane Husbandless Wife!
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