2 Years...

Just over two years ago, our little man underwent the most amazing surgery ever (at least in our eyes). They cut him open, they changed his hearts "plumbing", they closed him up and then told us that in his future there may be a chance that he would have to go through surgery again, that he would get sick easier than other kids, that sports may NOT be in his future and yet we were to keep him healthy, safe and active. Talk about putting a lot on a moms plate. We already had our two girls and we thought that was rough (I mean hello have you ever RAISED two girls...d-r-a-m-a haha) but nothing could prepare us for what the next few years would bring us. We had months of special meds that we had to pick up at a special pharmacy, special formula that made him sick but we had to use anyways, a couple trips BACK to the hospital because his "colds" would turn deadly overnight...it was a rollercoaster to say the least.

We had arguments about daycare, if he could go. I had panic attacks thinking about him getting sick, even when he was perfectly healthy. Oddly as the years went on I didn't get LESS stressed but the stress became less obvious to those around me unless you really pushed me on how I felt. The worry was deep, my heart ached when I saw normal kids, normal babies. It was weird how much this little man had changed me, how much his surgery had changed us all as a family.

From day one they told us that his 2 year heart appointment would be the telling appointment. They had told us he was healthy but always left us with some doubt...like "he looks really good...but" or "he is growing fine, but..." and the 'but' was always that he still seemed to be a candidate for a second surgery. Ugh. That surgery was not horrible like his first. THey merely cut a hole into his leg, insert a tube with a balloon, stretch out his coronary atereries and he would have an overnight stay in the hospital. Yeah I know, I know, compared to what we first endured it seems like a piece of cake, but as a mom you just assume it can't be that easy. Not if we have to go back in at all!

Yesterday was his appointment. I cried when I made the appointment two weeks ago. I cried when I got in my car to GO to the appointment. I even cried at the appointment. However it was for a good reason, at least the THIRD cry was. Haha. Yesterday we met an amazing doctor, he was great, young, fun and he seemed to speak our language. He was great with Rian, he was the one who did the ultrasound instead of us having a techician do it and then meet with the doc later, he was very hands on and I LOVED IT. I also loved him just a bit more when he finally said "from what I can see, Rian is in the 'low' category for surgery meaning I can't say he won't need it 100% but honestly...he won't need it from what I can see" Haha. Do you have any idea how long I waited to hear those words, to have that weight off my shoulders. He told us Rian would be back in 6 months just so the doc could get to know him and then after that each year but that only during SPORTS...yes he said SPORTS...would Rian have to REALLY get looked at just to make sure it was all still good.

Being the person I am, the downside is always present but if the only downside right now is that he has to have a "once over" BEFORE he starts sports then BRING IT ON!!! I am estatic.

The weight of the stress and worry is gone. Not dissappeared, vanished, poof...but gone from my day to day thoughts, gone from my mind and will no longer cause anger and frustration when I see other "normal" kids.

I say this each year he has a birthday or each time he gets sick, but our little man has made us stronger as a coouple, as parents and as a family and more appreciative of every day that we are blessed to have with one another. He is a miracle and a little angel and I would not trade all we went through for anything in the world but I will SURELY take in the news we recieved yesterday.

Our little man is "Perfectly Healthy"...