Better. For now...

So, after I ranted and raved, I came home on Friday after my little girls were home early (10am) and my sis's man had left them alone. Dad was clearly peeved and let me konw it, and I was peeved but racked my brain to see if the convo we had the night before stated "it's okay to leave them alone"...

We all know they have stayed home alone before but only for an hour or so and ONLY on a normal day from school, never JUST to be alone. I got home after recalling my convo and NO I did not say to leave them alone, I merely stated that they were used to doing it all on their own. I guess it SOUNDS like they can be left alone but No, not so much, not if you are around and not doing anything.

So I got home, had the kids go upstairs in their room and we had a talk. I stood, they stood and they were both equally called out, I told them my frustrations, my moral beliefs and what they had done or what I had agreed to that tested BOTH and made them worse off. I let them know that I needed it to change and that if it didn't they wouldn't be welcome here, NOT that I don't care about them but I couldn't forget about my own family and a negative effect this whole situation might have on us. It did get heated at the end, but only because of a comment made, but even that turned out better than I expected. I think the most important thing is that they know I want the best for them, but they are grown ups and they need to act like it. I can help them by giving them a roof over their head, and food in their belly, but I can't help them grow up, they need to do that on their own.

All in all things went really well, in fact it was like two new people moved in and the old ones moved out. They were back to helping, being more concious of what they were saying around the kids and although we are all NOT perfect by any means we are all being respectful and doing better. It's nice, not perfect or ideal, but nice :)

Thank you guys for your comments, you have no idea how nice it was to blog and get everything off my chest. The good news is that it seems to be getting better, the better news is that I CLEARLY laid out the rules, the expectations, the issues AND the deal breakers. Hopefully we don't have to get to the deal breaker part but if we do at least they know loud and clear (literally) what those are.

UGH, sometimes I think I bite off more than I can chew but then I think back to being kicked out at 17 with my baby girl because of crappy choices and how it sucked to not have anyone around to help me or that even believed in me and it makes me realize, you can do whatever you want, so long as you try hard enough...and I want them and my own kids to realize that. I don't want them to think life is particularly easy and I want them to earn and and be PROUD of all they have in life. Maybe thats a lot to want for any one person, but hey. TO BAD!