ENJOY!
John's (the neighbor and good friend) Birthday...YAY!
Safety Fair with the Cordero's minus one!
Randomness :)
Valentines Day <3
Monday, February 15, 2010
Been a while...
Man when life takes hold it takes charge of everything, including my BLOG time! WHAT THE HECK. Time to get that back and to start, here are some pics.
ENJOY!
ENJOY!
Better. For now...
So, after I ranted and raved, I came home on Friday after my little girls were home early (10am) and my sis's man had left them alone. Dad was clearly peeved and let me konw it, and I was peeved but racked my brain to see if the convo we had the night before stated "it's okay to leave them alone"...
We all know they have stayed home alone before but only for an hour or so and ONLY on a normal day from school, never JUST to be alone. I got home after recalling my convo and NO I did not say to leave them alone, I merely stated that they were used to doing it all on their own. I guess it SOUNDS like they can be left alone but No, not so much, not if you are around and not doing anything.
So I got home, had the kids go upstairs in their room and we had a talk. I stood, they stood and they were both equally called out, I told them my frustrations, my moral beliefs and what they had done or what I had agreed to that tested BOTH and made them worse off. I let them know that I needed it to change and that if it didn't they wouldn't be welcome here, NOT that I don't care about them but I couldn't forget about my own family and a negative effect this whole situation might have on us. It did get heated at the end, but only because of a comment made, but even that turned out better than I expected. I think the most important thing is that they know I want the best for them, but they are grown ups and they need to act like it. I can help them by giving them a roof over their head, and food in their belly, but I can't help them grow up, they need to do that on their own.
All in all things went really well, in fact it was like two new people moved in and the old ones moved out. They were back to helping, being more concious of what they were saying around the kids and although we are all NOT perfect by any means we are all being respectful and doing better. It's nice, not perfect or ideal, but nice :)
Thank you guys for your comments, you have no idea how nice it was to blog and get everything off my chest. The good news is that it seems to be getting better, the better news is that I CLEARLY laid out the rules, the expectations, the issues AND the deal breakers. Hopefully we don't have to get to the deal breaker part but if we do at least they know loud and clear (literally) what those are.
UGH, sometimes I think I bite off more than I can chew but then I think back to being kicked out at 17 with my baby girl because of crappy choices and how it sucked to not have anyone around to help me or that even believed in me and it makes me realize, you can do whatever you want, so long as you try hard enough...and I want them and my own kids to realize that. I don't want them to think life is particularly easy and I want them to earn and and be PROUD of all they have in life. Maybe thats a lot to want for any one person, but hey. TO BAD!
We all know they have stayed home alone before but only for an hour or so and ONLY on a normal day from school, never JUST to be alone. I got home after recalling my convo and NO I did not say to leave them alone, I merely stated that they were used to doing it all on their own. I guess it SOUNDS like they can be left alone but No, not so much, not if you are around and not doing anything.
So I got home, had the kids go upstairs in their room and we had a talk. I stood, they stood and they were both equally called out, I told them my frustrations, my moral beliefs and what they had done or what I had agreed to that tested BOTH and made them worse off. I let them know that I needed it to change and that if it didn't they wouldn't be welcome here, NOT that I don't care about them but I couldn't forget about my own family and a negative effect this whole situation might have on us. It did get heated at the end, but only because of a comment made, but even that turned out better than I expected. I think the most important thing is that they know I want the best for them, but they are grown ups and they need to act like it. I can help them by giving them a roof over their head, and food in their belly, but I can't help them grow up, they need to do that on their own.
All in all things went really well, in fact it was like two new people moved in and the old ones moved out. They were back to helping, being more concious of what they were saying around the kids and although we are all NOT perfect by any means we are all being respectful and doing better. It's nice, not perfect or ideal, but nice :)
Thank you guys for your comments, you have no idea how nice it was to blog and get everything off my chest. The good news is that it seems to be getting better, the better news is that I CLEARLY laid out the rules, the expectations, the issues AND the deal breakers. Hopefully we don't have to get to the deal breaker part but if we do at least they know loud and clear (literally) what those are.
UGH, sometimes I think I bite off more than I can chew but then I think back to being kicked out at 17 with my baby girl because of crappy choices and how it sucked to not have anyone around to help me or that even believed in me and it makes me realize, you can do whatever you want, so long as you try hard enough...and I want them and my own kids to realize that. I don't want them to think life is particularly easy and I want them to earn and and be PROUD of all they have in life. Maybe thats a lot to want for any one person, but hey. TO BAD!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Mental Battle
Okay so I am here to rant and rave and complain and vent. I know I typically keep it pretty upbeat but here goes.
Recently we had my sis and her other half move in. It kind of happened spur of the moment when Rian got sick and we asked my sister to come out here for two weeks and that turned into them both moving out here permanently. We offered this before and I would do pretty much anything and since my sis said "he is a good guy, not sure what everyone sees against him" I figured...what the heck The mental battle on this is here..
My sis and her man went through some stuff and even knowing that I want to support my sister and the hardest part for me is that if it was my own daughter, I would NOT by any means be okay with their boyfriend living with us after a similar situation to my sister. Now, as part of being a sister you have to let your siblings make their own mistakes or choices and either they turn out fine or they fail miserably. I think my sister is pretty smart but still I can't shake the feeling that I let something into my house that I am not morally okay with.
I wouldn't refuse to let my daughter date any certain person, we have all been there, we know we date them even when our parents say not to, but I wouldn't let them live with me. On top of that, I don't feel that the "said person" is very respectful or appreciative. I think to some extent it seems that we owe them this chance and in fact we do not.
ALSO once he was out here I found out certain OTHER reasons why everyone was saying he wasn't the best choice that to be honest, make me a little uncomfortable. I mean, I ended relationships over far less, and that was because I wanted my own kids to grow up with better morals. Argh, so confusing I swear. And we aren't talking about cheating in this sentence but more life choices that stick with you...in your permanent record...forever.
In no way have EITHER of them done anything specific since they have lived with us that makes it apparent that they aren't the people they claim to be (okay maybe a couple things make me question this) but as time goes on we seem to learn more and more that makes me realize I am SERIOUSLY condoning something that again, if it were my own daughter I would be totally opposed to. I guess this is what happens when you are family. Sometimes you do things that you don't agree with but you do it anyways so they can prove you wrong and show you that they aren't as bad as what folks thought.
There are other little things that bother me and I guess I should have expected it as it is teenagers in my house but since I never grew up this way I don't know how to react other than to be offended. What are those things you ask...here let me tell you...
1. Not saying thank you when I cook dinner after a long day at work
2. Being helpful when we met but now putting out the bare minimum
3. Expecting me to come home and cook and almost making me feel quilty if I kinda don't wanna...one night I actually heard the words...
"So, whats for dinner..."
4. Scolding my kids, I don't like it when someone else tries to parent my kids
5. Keeping my dogs outside, maybe not all day but at least they've been outside when I get home, my dogs are family to even if they drive me nuts, respect them!
6. Showering together when my kids are fully aware of whats going on. JUST ERKS ME!
7. Disrespecting your elders. I get not liking them but why do you feel the need to talk about them negatively, I have KIDS, they look up to you, BE RESPECTFUL!
I guess thats basically it, but more than that I just get the impression that they view me and RC as parents (their parents) and that the things I do are similar to what they would expect from their own parents but the truth of the matter is I am just a sister trying to give them a chance and treat them as what they are...or should be...and that's grown ups.
Maybe I am cynical because I grew up young and had to fend for myself and possibly grow up faster than I wanted to but hey, I made the choice. Kinda funny cause this whole situation makes me think of that saying all parents say "you made your bed, now you gotta lie in it" or however it goes. LOL.
Recently we had my sis and her other half move in. It kind of happened spur of the moment when Rian got sick and we asked my sister to come out here for two weeks and that turned into them both moving out here permanently. We offered this before and I would do pretty much anything and since my sis said "he is a good guy, not sure what everyone sees against him" I figured...what the heck The mental battle on this is here..
My sis and her man went through some stuff and even knowing that I want to support my sister and the hardest part for me is that if it was my own daughter, I would NOT by any means be okay with their boyfriend living with us after a similar situation to my sister. Now, as part of being a sister you have to let your siblings make their own mistakes or choices and either they turn out fine or they fail miserably. I think my sister is pretty smart but still I can't shake the feeling that I let something into my house that I am not morally okay with.
I wouldn't refuse to let my daughter date any certain person, we have all been there, we know we date them even when our parents say not to, but I wouldn't let them live with me. On top of that, I don't feel that the "said person" is very respectful or appreciative. I think to some extent it seems that we owe them this chance and in fact we do not.
ALSO once he was out here I found out certain OTHER reasons why everyone was saying he wasn't the best choice that to be honest, make me a little uncomfortable. I mean, I ended relationships over far less, and that was because I wanted my own kids to grow up with better morals. Argh, so confusing I swear. And we aren't talking about cheating in this sentence but more life choices that stick with you...in your permanent record...forever.
In no way have EITHER of them done anything specific since they have lived with us that makes it apparent that they aren't the people they claim to be (okay maybe a couple things make me question this) but as time goes on we seem to learn more and more that makes me realize I am SERIOUSLY condoning something that again, if it were my own daughter I would be totally opposed to. I guess this is what happens when you are family. Sometimes you do things that you don't agree with but you do it anyways so they can prove you wrong and show you that they aren't as bad as what folks thought.
There are other little things that bother me and I guess I should have expected it as it is teenagers in my house but since I never grew up this way I don't know how to react other than to be offended. What are those things you ask...here let me tell you...
1. Not saying thank you when I cook dinner after a long day at work
2. Being helpful when we met but now putting out the bare minimum
3. Expecting me to come home and cook and almost making me feel quilty if I kinda don't wanna...one night I actually heard the words...
"So, whats for dinner..."
4. Scolding my kids, I don't like it when someone else tries to parent my kids
5. Keeping my dogs outside, maybe not all day but at least they've been outside when I get home, my dogs are family to even if they drive me nuts, respect them!
6. Showering together when my kids are fully aware of whats going on. JUST ERKS ME!
7. Disrespecting your elders. I get not liking them but why do you feel the need to talk about them negatively, I have KIDS, they look up to you, BE RESPECTFUL!
I guess thats basically it, but more than that I just get the impression that they view me and RC as parents (their parents) and that the things I do are similar to what they would expect from their own parents but the truth of the matter is I am just a sister trying to give them a chance and treat them as what they are...or should be...and that's grown ups.
Maybe I am cynical because I grew up young and had to fend for myself and possibly grow up faster than I wanted to but hey, I made the choice. Kinda funny cause this whole situation makes me think of that saying all parents say "you made your bed, now you gotta lie in it" or however it goes. LOL.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Think. Think. Think.
I had a blog written, if it were on paper it would have been three pages long probably but I thought better of it and now here I sit just telling about it.
Things are busy. I will have to post some pics of a recent safety fair we just went to.
Things are busy. I will have to post some pics of a recent safety fair we just went to.
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