1 year and counting....

A year ago today (at 3pm to be exact) Rian was born at Arrowhead hospital and our lives were turned absolutely upside down. I was the only one to hold him, for probably just shy of a minute, before they whisked him away and he was on oxygen in the nursery, awaiting an ambulance to take him to St. Josephs so they could diagnose him further. The time from when they took him away until they FINALLY told us what was going on seemed to be forever and I will never forget the helplessness I felt when I heard the words "we need to get him there as quick as possible to prevent any further damage or a loss". I couldn't quite grasp those words at the time but when they came to show him to us in his oxygen pumping incubator when they took him in the ambulance it all sunk in. Why you ask...well...because as a new mom (the 3rd time around) I didn't even know if I could touch him and he just seemed so helpless. So very very helpless.

The next day we went into St. Josephs not sure of what to expect but what we saw was surely what we imagined as the worst. Our once normal sized baby was puffed up with liquids and had a breathing tube down his throat. He had wires coming out of him and underneath the worst part was the realization that it was nor or never. We diagnosed him and we found out the next step. To us this was the closest to the end that we NEVER wanted to be. A mere 1.5 days later they told us they diagnosed him with Transposition of the Great Arteries and that he would be fine on breathing tubes for up to TWO weeks. We felt like that gave us a "deadline" so to speak and from then on it was up the doctors to work their magic and get us into surgery.

After a week and a half of changing dates, countless nights of no sleep and tears, and so much poking and prodding to our little baby boy he was taken into surgery. What we saw next was WAY worse than we walked into that very first day. He was surrounded by TONS of medication and IV's and totally passed out to the world. It was so sad I actually got nauseous and had to walk out because the thought of NOT being able to pick him up, hold him or hear his cry was devastating.

At 2 weeks they took the tubes out, and he was breathing on his own. We heard his first cry and I couldn't hold back the tears. At 3 weeks he was doing AMAZING and the doctors were shocked by his progress. SO much so that after much teetering around a "take home date" they decided on his 3 week birthday that he could be released. His first car ride was nerve wracking but he made it just fine and without a tear shed. He went home without feeding tubes and only on 2 meds and he was such a trooper.

At 1 month he celebrated his 1st Halloween. At 2 months he had his first thanksgiving and at 3 months he celebrated his first Christmas. It is still amazing to me that he has come so far. He had monthly doctor appointments for the first 3 months of life along with physical therapy checkups and every time they were amazed that he was so big and so "on track, if not ahead" for all his milestons. He sat up at 5 months, little slower than normal, was crawling at 6 months and at 7 months was cruising around all the furniture and we were sure he would walk before he crawled. LOL. At 7.5 months he started crawling (guess that did come first after all) and at 9months he took his first steps and at 9.5 months he was fully walking around. At 10 months we were told his arteries hadn't gotten any better (growth wise) but hadn't gotten any worse either and so this was a good thing regardless of the worry we had that NO change was still bad. At 10 months he understood the concept of catch and although he coudlnt catch he knew how to throw back at the person tossing to him, and at 11 months he was riding a power wheels quad on his own. He has simply amazed us at every milestone and although he still slaps me before he kisses me (yes we are trying to break that) and although I can't lay on the floor without him body slamming me or the fact that dad can't pick up the car keys without Rian crying and wanting to go with him, we love him to pieces. He has overcome every obstacle and even surprised us with his personality and pure joy for life already.

Any parent who says that they don't know how you love your second child the same as your first or your 3rd as much as your second surely doesn't have more than 1 child. Your heart grows to sizes you couldn't imagine as do your patience :) Each day is a blessing and although he came in with a bang we know now from his totally BOYISH attitude and mannerisms that he just wanted to show his two older sisters up and make us all realize he was a tough guy, and nothing less.

We love him more than words can express and we wouldn't have changed his "story" for anything in the world, it made us the family we are today, stronger and able to love and appreciate one another that much more! We love you Rian!!!

Rian at 1 Day

Rian at 1 Year